Hockey in BlondeSpeak - Shake That Rust Off, It's Hockey Time Again!

NHL hockey is back tomorrow! Need a little refresher course on the terminology you'll be hearing? Never fear, BlondeSpeak is here; to simplify all the gibberish you'll hear. (Yes, I took a poetry course during the lockout, specializing in dirty limericks; but that's for another post on another day.)

If you are a little rusty, brush up on your hockey terms so you know what's going on while you listen to Joe and Locker (or whoever your particular commentators are for your team if you're not a Washington Capitals fan. Wait...if you aren't a Caps fan, how the heck did you end up here?) And remember, BlondeSpeak is not meant to be technical, it's just the basics in simple language, you know, for blondes and wanna-be blondes.

Anyway, here we go:

Attacking zone: Ok, this is kinda a no-brainer, but maybe you’re not sure. So, when a team is on the attack, their attacking zone is between the opponent's blue line and goal line.

Breakaway: A player in control of the puck has a breakaway when the only opponent between him and the opposition's goal is the goalie and there is a reasonable scoring opportunity. You’ll hear this often, but sometimes it goes pretty quick and you miss the actual execution.

Charging: No, it has nothing to do with a credit card. It’s when the "actions of a player or goalkeeper who, as a result of distance traveled, shall violently check an opponent in any manner”. So in this case “distance traveled” is akin to something like more than three strides before deliberately smashing the living sh*t out of him. Pretty broad interpretation allowed for the refs here, no wonder so many coaches argue when it happens. Oh yeah, it can also result in a game misconduct or a suspension if the infraction is deemed severe enough. Really broad interpretation allowed, hope there are good ref’s on the ice…Yeah, right.

 Dump and chase: “An offensive strategy used to get the puck over the opposing team's blue line and into the corners where players can race to get it, thereby moving the play into the attacking zone”. Basically, they dump the puck down the ice and everybody chases after it. Simple, right?

 Freezing the puck: Nope, it is not putting the puck in the icebox before the game. Well, on second thought, it could be that too. Actually, a player freezes the puck by holding it against the boards with the stick or skates. A goalie freezes the puck (when the opposition is threatening to score) by either holding the puck in the glove or trapping it on the ice.

 Half Boards (or half walls): The half boards are not the short wall around the rink. It really is an actual specific location. It’s the areas along the side boards, half-way between the blue line and the goal line.

Odd-man Rush: Sounds like a dance, right? An odd-man rush happens when the team with the puck has one more player entering the other team’s zone then the other team’s defense (i.e. 2 on 1 or 3 on 2)

Offside: When a player crosses the attacking blue line before the puck does, the team is called for offside. A face-off then takes place just outside that blue line (in the offending player's defensive zone). The determining factor in most offside situations is the position of the skates: both skates must be completely over the blue line ahead of the puck for the play to be offside. That’s why you’ll sometimes see a player standing on either side of the line waiting for the puck; he's getting as close as he can get without going over. Yeah, sometimes that plan doesn't exactly pan out.

The Point: The point is the area just inside the opposition's blue line close to the boards on either side of the rink. Usually a defenseman usually parks himself there when his team is in control of the puck in the opposition's defensive zone. Playing the point has some responsibilities. It includes trying to keep the puck in the offensive zone when the defensive team attempts to clear it; receiving a pass from the forwards to allow the play to reset, and taking slap shots at the goal, hoping to create a rebound or a deflection. On the power play, however, one of the positions is often played by a forward and he attempts to control where the puck goes through passing, and also takes lots of shots. LOTS of shots if he can.

 Referee's crease: Yes, there actually is a referee’s crease! It’s the semi-circular area at the red line, beside the scorekeeper's bench, which a player may not enter when it’s occupied by a referee during a stoppage of play. Ever notice how players hang back when refs are conferring about a play or on the phone for a ruling from Toronto? Yeah, the ref’s in HIS crease and nobody better enter it. If they do, the player could get a misconduct penalty, but usually the ref politely asks the player to move his ass away. (I just threw this in because I thought it was interesting, you’ll probably never hear any reference to it during a game, ok?)

 The Shots: There are three common shots you’ll see and hear about, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference and you have to trust the commentator to tell you what you just saw. But, here are the very basic descriptions of them. You’ll understand them better if you watch the replays or rewind your DVR and slow the action down:

            Slap shot: A slap shot occurs when the player swings the stick back and then quickly forward, slapping the puck ahead with a forehand shot. It’s a forceful shot, usually with a big wind up, where the player bends his stick on the ice and allows the energy stored in bending the stick to launch the puck forward.

            Wrist shot: A wrist shot is when a player shoots the puck off the blade of the stick with a flicking motion of the wrist. Normally a shot with accuracy and quick delivery. Wicked Wrister!

            Snap shot: A snap shot is a like an abbreviated slap shot, and combines the advantages of the wrist shot (speed and accuracy) and the slap shot (force).

The Slot: This is the area directly in front of the goalie’s crease between the face off circles. It is the prime scoring area up the middle of the ice, between the face-off circles. When a player is said to  "clear the slot," he’s shoving an opposing player out of the area in front of his goal.

 

 

Hockey in BlondeSpeak: Free Agency

You may have noticed a lot of discussion lately on players that will become free agents this summer. Who will get re-signed, who will move on to another team, etc.? You may have also seen players described as unrestricted or restricted free agents. So, are you wondering what all this means? Let me break it down into BlondeSpeak for you.

The free agency period begins on July 1. Any player, whose contract has expired and is at least 27 years old or has been an NHL player for at least 7 years, will become an unrestricted free agent. An unrestricted free agent is free to negotiate a contract with any NHL team. Their current team receives no compensation for the loss of the unrestricted free agent. (Prior to 2005, teams losing unrestricted free agents were awarded draft picks as compensation).

Restricted free agents are players that; while they are no longer considered “entry-level” players; they do not qualify as unrestricted free agents, when their contracts expire. There are 3 basic types of “entry-level” players; players between 18 & 21, who sign an “entry-level” contract for 3 seasons; players aged 22-23 sign a 2 season contract; and players aged 24 sign a 1 season contract. A restricted free agent’s current team must extend a “qualifying offer” to him in order to keep negotiating rights to that player. If that qualifying offer is not made, that player becomes an unrestricted free agent. If a “qualifying offer” is made but the restricted free agent rejects it, he continues to remain a restricted free agent. If the player does not sign before December 1st, he is ineligible to play in the NHL for the remainder of the season.

Part of the qualifying offer includes required salary increases based on their current salary. If a player earns less than $660,000, his offer must include 110% of last season’s salary. Players earning $660,001 - $1,000,000 must be offered 105%, and players earning over $1,000,000 must be offered 100%. Now, there are a few special rules in regards to arbitration of a player’s salary and conditions that must be met, but as this does not further define what the essence of a restricted free agent is, I’m not gonna muddy the waters with it.

So, what does all this mean with regards to the Washington Capitals? Currently, the following players will be unrestricted free agents on July 1 if an offer from the Washington Capitals is not made and accepted: Jason Arnott, Matt Bradley, Boyd Gordon, Scott Hannan, Brooks Laich, and Marco Sturm. There are also 6 Hersey Bears/Stingrays players who will be unrestricted free agents on July 1 if no offer is made/accepted: Sean Collins, Brian Fahey, Todd Ford, Steve Pinizzotto, Dany Sabourin, and Brian Willsie. I should add that there is one more player that will be an unrestricted free agent on July 1 – Michael Nylander. I wasn’t really going to factor him into the discussion, but to be fair, he does belong to the list. I think we can all rest assured that he will not receive an offer from the Caps.

 

 

As for restricted free agents, Karl Alzner and Semyon Varlamov will be the 2 Caps players that are hoping to get a “Qualified Offer”, as well as a bunch of Hershey guys that include Andrew Gordon and Mathieu Perreault.

And, on a side note: on July 1, 2012, Alex Semin, Jason Chimera. Dennis Wideman, Tyler Sloan, and DJ King will become unrestricted free agents. Mike Green, Eric Fehr and John Carlson will become restricted free agents. See what you have to look forward too?

It is interesting to note that as of this post, none of the Caps players listed (restricted or unrestricted) have been announced as receiving or signing offers. They may be in the works and there may be some good news for fans of these players any time between now and July 1, but if July 1 rolls around without any announcements, my advice to you is to keep watch for most of these players to be signed by other teams. As you may have heard, Brooks Laich expressed in his season end exit interview that he hopes to be a Washington Capital next season, and I personally know some Matt Bradley and Boyd Gordon fans that will be terribly sad if none of these guys rock the red for the 2011-2012 NHL season. And while Jason Arnott certainly proved himself to be a good acquisition as a veteran player, is his time over or will be get the nod for one more year? There has been a great deal of speculation on whether or not Varly will get a qualifying offer, but rumor has it that Alzner is going to be a lock for next year. Personally, I think the free agency deadline is more interesting than the draft, considering we already know the guys in question, and I can’t wait to hear some good news about the Caps roster in the next few weeks. Fingers crossed!

Hockey In BlondeSpeak - Countdown to the Playoffs

On March 22, when the Washington Capitals beat the Philadelphia Flyers, they also clinched a spot for the 2010-2011 Stanley Cup playoffs. This is the 4th time in the last 4 years this has happened for our Caps. As of this writing; (Sunday 3/27/11 at 6 pm EST); the Caps are second seed in the Eastern Conference. Why give you that date and time information? These standings can change at a moment’s notice, depending on another team’s win or loss. You really have to stay on top of all the team’s stats at this time of year to keep up with the playoff standings!

Clinching a playoff spot is great news, but what if you don’t understand what all this means? Well, I’m going to break it down into my “BlondeSpeak” for you.

Each conference, East and West, have 8 teams in the playoffs. Their position in the standings is called a “seed” and is based on their points throughout the entire season of 82 games. When the playoffs begin, the 1st round games are determined by that seed; #1 plays #8, #2 plays #7, #3 plays #6, and #4 plays #5 in each conference. Each of the playoff games are the best of 7. As the playoffs progress, the rounds continue as teams are eliminated, eventually resulting in the final East team versus the final West team for the Stanley Cup.

As Caps fans, we are all happy and proud that our boys have clinched another spot in the playoffs, but being #2 could be a really tough spot to be in, based on the standings at this moment. IF the playoffs were to begin right now, our Caps would face the current #7 seed; the New York Rangers; in the first round. This could be a challenging series of games for the Caps. We have faced the New York Rangers 4 times this season; twice at Madison Square Garden and twice at Verizon Center. Of those 4 games, the Caps won only one game; on 11/9/2010. Twice, the Rangers have shut our team out. Personally, I would rather face the Montreal Canadiens in the first round. After all, the Caps have beaten the Habs in 3 out of 4 of their games this season. But for this to happen, we would have to rely on teams like the Penguins or the Bruins to take over the 2nd seed and move us down to #3 or the Rangers to move up to #6. As long as the Habs stay at #7, then we could face them in the first round. See why each team’s playoff seed position is so important?

I’m sure you remember last season when the Caps won the President’s trophy and began the playoffs in the #1 seed. Many fans expected the Caps to glide right through to the final round. After all, we were #1! But now I’d like to give you a little hockey history lesson, some of which was already covered previously in my 2010-2011 Caps Season Second Half post.

In the last 10 NHL seasons, only 4 teams who started the playoffs as #1 seed have gone all the way to the end and raised the Stanley Cup for their fans. The 2nd seed team has won 4 times and the 4th seed team has won twice. And, the only team to go in as #1 and win the Stanley Cup round in less than 7 games was the Detroit Red Wings - twice (2002 & 2008). I’m not a statistician. As a matter of fact; math hurts my brain so I am gonna whip out my simple little chart to illustrate this:

 

Now considering the “jinx” of the President’s Trophy, as well as the fact that 1st seed teams have the biggest target on their backs, I’m not really upset that the Caps are not #1 this season. (Yeah, I know, #1 faces the lowly #8 team. You need to keep in mind, that #8 team has a lot to prove and are undoubtedly going be pretty scrappy in the 1st round. But looking at that chart, #8 hasn’t won the Stanley Cup in the last 10 seasons, so it isn’t statistically the best position to be in going into the playoffs. Glad we aren’t there!) But, the 2nd seed team has won the Stanley Cup 4 times in the last 10 years, so ours hopes have not been dashed yet!

Ours Caps will always be #1 in our hearts, but being #2 isn’t such a bad thing. Be proud Caps fans! Let’s just hope when the final game of the season is finished, our Caps will all be healthy and strong and ready to go all the way to the end. Like I said back in January, now that we have; once again; clinched a spot in the playoffs, we still have the chance to see our boys raise that cup over their heads and finally put the naysayers to rest. And wouldn’t it be great to see Ovi lift it time after time on replays and in commercials, instead of Sid? Yeah, I think so too.

Hockey in BlondeSpeak - The Trap Defense

Ah, the thrill of a Caps game. What? You don’t think it’s been very exciting lately? What has happened to that thrill-a-minute Caps run and gun game? Why hasn’t Nicky scored in eons? What the hell has happened to Ovi? Yeah, yeah, I know. But, do not despair, fellow Caps fans. These guys are holding back that wiz-bang style of play for a very good reason; Bruce & Co. are having these young guns playing the “Neutral Zone Trap”.

You know you’ve heard that phrase tossed around, but what does it mean, why does it cause such low-scoring yawn-fests, and lastly, why are they doing it? Well, because I feel it is my life’s mission to make understanding hockey easy enough for anyone, I’m gonna tell ya.

First of all, the Neutral Zone Trap (or just “trap” as I am going to call it from this point forward) really can stop breakaways from becoming goals, and here’s why. When you play trap defense, the majority of the team stays in the neutral zone instead of rushing your forwards into the offensive zone.

The most basic trap positioning has one forechecker in the offensive zone (usually the center), the wingers in the neutral zone, and the defense in the defensive zone. As the opposing team starts skating up the ice, the forechecker’s job is to cut off the passing lanes to other offensive players by staying in the middle of the ice. This hopefully results in forcing the puck carrier to either sideboard. Then the “defensive” wingers; typically placed on or near the red line, can challenge the puck carrier along the boards to prevent passing or even keep opponents from moving through. Finally, the two defensemen who are positioned on or near the blue lines are the last line of defense. Their job, obviously, is to prevent a goal from being scored, or at least to stall the opposition long enough for the wingers to reset themselves and continue the trap.

So, when the offense tries to get into your defensive zone, you can have as many as 4 guys already there waiting to stop them. Have you ever noticed when watching a game on TV, you sometimes see 4 players from one team around their net (in their zone) and only 1 or maybe 2 players from the other team? Yes, it is possible that the other team is changing shifts right then, but it could also be that the rest of that team is in the neutral zone or even back beyond their blue line waiting. Watch when the camera pans out and you’ll see it.

The trap is a very defensive style of play; there aren’t many chances for the opposing team to get past them and score a goal. So when you have the lead, it’s an effective way to shut the other team down, but it also makes for boring play. When you are used to seeing the Caps flying all over the ice and shooting at the net from everywhere (up to and including the blue line), watching this defensive style is a big change. The thrill is gone.

Which brings me to the last part of the question; why are they doing it? Here’s how I see it: lately, it seems like everybody and their Mother have figured out the Caps system. They have probably studied every millimeter of game film they have on the Caps. As long as the team continued to play the same old same old style of hockey that they have for the last few years, other teams can pretty accurately predict what Semin is going to do, when Ovi is going to shoot, when Nicky is going to pass and who he’s is going to pass to, where Green or Schultz are going to be at any given moment. Think about it, as fans, WE know it, so why shouldn’t other teams be figuring this out? They are!! Secondly, in order to get into and through the playoffs, the Caps need more ammo in their holsters. Run and gun is great and the team is really excellent at it, but it cannot be the only style of play in our arsenal of weapons.

Like I said at the start, do not despair, Caps fans. I know it seems like they’ve been trying this for months. I feel your pain. This is not something that is learned overnight. Lots of these guys have very little experience playing the trap, but they will get there. All these line changes help the coaches figure out who does well in what situation or position when it comes to playing the trap. It’s obvious that the guys really want to break out and fly down the rink, but the trap takes discipline. You know you’ve seen Ovi apparently skating in circles, not moving to positions you’re used to seeing him in. You know you’ve seen Nicky not successfully passing to a winger with his usual accuracy. You scream at the TV for the guys to “CRASH THE NET!!!” (I know you have, I have too). But, once they become even more familiar and comfortable with it, it will be a benefit to our game. And rest easy, the exciting and thrilling style of play we’ve seen for years is still there and will be implemented when it’s either necessary or at least not a detriment to the final score. At least, that's what I think...Any questions?

Editors Note: To read a great post on the Caps players reaction to playing the trap, check out Capitals News Network here.

Hockey in BlondeSpeak - Stats

Do you understand exactly what you are reading when you look at a player’s or team’s stats? Rather than ignore those acronyms and numbers, let’s break it down so you can get a better appreciation for them.
There is a lot of information involved here, so grab a cuppa joe or a cold beer and settle in.

First off – Player stats: I’m going to use the stats for Alex Ovechkin from the Caps website as posted on 11/1/10.

You should know some of the basics by now; GP = Games Played, G = Goals, A = Assists, so lets look at the others.

P = Points. Easy- goals plus assists equals points. It ain’t calculus, just simple addition.

+/- = Plus/Minus. As covered in a previous BlondeSpeak post, think of it like a grading system for players. Basically, it indicates whether they were on the ice when the opposing team scored (a minus) or on the ice when their own team scored (a plus). For example, a defenseman could be on the ice when the opposing team scored 4 goals (-4), but if that same defenseman also scored a goal (+1), his total +/- for the game would be -3.

PIM = Penalty Minutes. So far, Alex had incurred 10 penalty minutes

PP = Power Play Goals. That’s the number of goals the player has scored on the Power Play, Alex has 2.

SH = Shorthanded Goals. The number of goals the player has scored while the team was on the penalty kill/shorthanded. Looks like Alex needs a shorty in his stats.

GW = Game Winning Goals. Speaks for itself, Alex has had 3 in the last 11 games. Good Job Alex!

S = Shots on Goal. As could be expected, Alex has attempted 57 shots on goal so far this season. But, it would be nice if more resulted in actual goals if you factor in this - S%. 

S% = Shooting Percentage. That’s the total of goals divided by shots on goal. If Alex had only made 1 goal in 4 attempts, his S% would be 25%, since he’s made 7 goals in 57 attempts, it’s 12.3%

Additional Player stats from the NHL website, not including Goalies:

OT = Overtime Goals. Do I really need to explain this? Ok, Alex had 1 overtime goal so far.

TOI/G = Time on Ice per Game. Usually your defensemen have the most time on ice per game.

Sft/G = Average shifts per game. So far, Alex has averaged 20.3 shifts in 11 games. Once again, usually your defensemen have the highest number when it comes to average shifts per game. C'mon, do I need to explain that there are 4 offensive lines but only 3 defensive lines, therefore, more ice time for defense? Oh wait, I just did.

FO% = Faceoff Win Percentage. Well, since Ovi doesn’t do faceoffs, (or hasn’t yet), he hasn’t won any, has he? That is the job for the Center (like Backstrom or Stecks).

Next up – Goalie stats:

GPI = Games Played in Net. You might also see this as GP for Games Played. No brainer.

GS = Games Started. Also a no brainer, but if you are really blonde, what is shown above tells us that Varly only started in 1 game, but, since the GPIshown above is 2, it means he relieved Neuvy once.

MIN = Minutes played. This stat includes overtime minutes and deducts time when the team has played with an empty net.

GAA = Goals Against Average. Big clue here, the lower the number, the better.

W = Wins, L = Losses, OT = Overtime losses

SO = Shutouts. (I’m hoping I don’t have to explain what a shut out is, right? Please say yes, or just nod your head)

SA = Shots Against. How many times the opponents fired the puck at your goalie. Duh!

GA = Goals Against and SV = Saves. You know these, right?

SV% = Save Percentage. Real important number here for the goalie. Divide the number of saves by the number of shots against. Hint: Neuvy’s .926 save percentage puts him at #2 in the league as of 11/1/10. This is a good thing

G = Goals, A = Assists, and PIM = Penalty Minutes. Doesn’t happen often, but goalies can get goals, be credited with assists, and be assessed penalty minutes. If a goalie IS assessed a penalty, another member of the team sits it for him, just so you know. (BTW, former Caps goalie Jose Theodore has a goal on his lifetime stats)

TOI = Total Time on Ice. (another no brainer)

Finally – Team Stats:

Individual Team Stats by Game:

H/R = Home or Road

DEC = Decision (Win or Loss)

O/S = Overtime/Shootout

OPP = Opponent

RECORD = The teams’ current record. Caps are 7-4-0 at this time. (That would be 7 wins-4 losses-0 overtime losses)

GF = Goals For and GA = Goals Against. (The Calgary game, we scored 7 and Calgary scored 2.)

PPG = Power Play Goals (by us)

PP OPP = Power Play Opportunities (times we were on the power play)

PPGA = Power Play Goals Against (PP goals by "them")

TS = Times Shorthanded (we were on the penalty kill)

SHGF = Shorthanded Goals For (while we were on the power play)

SHGA = Shorthanded Goals Against (while we were on the penalty kill)

SF = Shots For

SA = Shots Against

ATT = Attendence

W GOALIE = Winning Goalie

W Goal = Winning Goal scored by…

Teams Stats within their Division:

GP, W, L, and OT were explained above. (or have you forgotten already?)

PTS = Points. Teams get 2 points for every win, and 1 point if the team loses in overtime.

GF = Goals For, GA = Goals Against, DIFF = Difference, HOME = Home record, AWAY = Away Record, SHOOTOUT = Shootout record, L10 = Last 10 games, STREAK = Winning or Losing streak. These are all pretty self-explanatory here, by this point, you should have been able to figure them out.

So, now you know all there is to know about what ALL those stats stand for. Does your brain hurt yet?

Just keep in mind, you don’t HAVE to know all these stats, but it helps to know a few of them. Wouldn’t it be cool to spout off a few of them to the guys around the water cooler and actually know what you are talking about? Bet you might even teach them a thing or two. Well, probably not, but you’ll still look cool, which is a good thing.



Hockey in BlondeSpeak - Waivers

Time for more hockey learning - the blonde way. So, you’ve heard of waivers, right? Want to know what they are? They are a couple of things you need to know in order to understand how waivers work. (By the way, this explanation refers to NHL players, waivers, and contracts. If I tried to add all the other leagues and their rules into this, your mind might be blown. Not the way I want to lose readers, so I’m gonna try to keep it simple.)

First, some people may throw the different types of contracts a player may have into explanations on waivers. So, let’s clear this up. Yes, there are 2 types of contracts, 1-way and 2-way. If an NHL player has a 1-way contract and his team wants to send him down to the minors, the player must clear waivers first. If an NHL player has a 2-way contract, he can usually be moved back and forth between the NHL and the minors without having to clear waivers. (There are exceptions, but for general purposes, that is how it works). 2-way contracts are what you want if you have an injured player so you can call up a guy with a 2-way contract to take his place while the injured player recovers. 1-way/2-way, like streets, get it? But do they really have anything to do with whether or not a player will be placed on waivers? Not really.

Ok, now, there are 2 types of waivers, unconditional and regular. These are the important things to keep in mind. If a team places a player on unconditional waivers, it means that the team has no intention of keeping the player, even in the minors, so his contract can be completely bought out; done deal/game over. If a team places a player on regular waivers, it means the team really wants to keep him, but by NHL rules, they can’t reassign him or recall him from the AHL for “re-entry” without placing him on waivers. Sounds pretty risky, right? There are several conditions about when you can place a player on waivers, such as age, length of contract or amount of games played, etc., etc. They are important but if your team puts someone on waivers, trust they have met those conditions and don’t get bogged down by those pesky details. The most important part is why that player was placed on waivers.

So, let’s look at what the internet says:

~ From WikiAnswers:

Waivers are when a team wants to send a player down to the minors or farm team and they have to "waive" the rights to that player before they can send him down. If another team claims that player he is now their property. If the player clears waivers (no one claims him), he remains the property of the original team and can be sent to the minors. The player may be released and can be a free agent.

~From James Mirtle

Essentially any player that has three professional seasons since signing his first contract, or who has played 180+ NHL games, must go through waivers before going to the AHL. The waiver system allows all 29 other NHL clubs to pick up that player, with teams lower down in the standings taking precedence over those at the top. Players are on waivers for two days, and if they go unclaimed, they're off to the minors.

If they go to the minors and then return to the NHL club, players don't have to pass through waivers again unless they've been with the big club for 10+ games or 30+ days.

Those are both pretty good examples of the waiver process but are they clear enough? Let’s break this down into BlondeSpeak:

Waivers are like eBay. Want to get rid of a player? If he is on unconditional waivers, you put him on eBay with a 2 day listing, because he just doesn’t suit your décor anymore. Let’s hope somebody bids and wins him. Bidders that have lower “ratings” get the pick over any competitive bidder who has higher “ratings”, just to keep things fair. Then you pack him up and ship him out, so long, nice knowing ya. If your bidder is nice, they might even give you a good review on their purchase, but you can bet fans of the player won’t be posting pleasant comments on your eBay listing!

If nobody buys him, you can just let him go, buhbye, see ya. (Kind of like sending him off to the charity bin at Salvation Army, because you certainly have no more use for him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have listed him on eBay in the first place, right?)

If he is on regular waivers, you hope that nobody bids on him during that 2 day listing, so you can send him down to the AHL. The risk here is a bidder might come along and snatch his butt up and you’ve lost him. But what are you gonna do, you had to put him up for bid in order to send him down to the AHL, you know? That’s why people get so worried and stress out for 2 days during the time a player is placed on waivers. He might be gone by the time the whole listing period is over. If nobody bids on him, he has "cleared" waivers, WooHoo! Just what we wanted!

So, yeah, maybe I didn’t cover all the wherefores and how to’s, but if you want to know those, Google away. I just want to give you the overall simple description of waivers and how they work in essence. I’m a little worried that people are gonna want to get into all those details, but remember; I’m not an expert; I’m just a blonde girl who wants the simple things in life…Any questions?

Hockey in BlondeSpeak - Icing

Ok, I did say I would save this for a post on another day. Guess now is as good a time as any. Oh, and all of you readers that think I’m talking about the frosting that goes on top of cupcakes for the media at Kettler, get out of the kitchen and out to the rink, pronto!

Anyway, I have read everything I can find on the web about it and can see why some people may still be doing puppy dog head tilts when they try to understand what the heck icing is. So, here we go.

First, let’s look at what the NHL rules say:

Rule 81 - Icing

81.1 Icing – For the purpose of this rule, the center red line will divide the ice into halves. Should any player or goalkeeper of a team, equal or superior in numerical strength (power-play) to the opposing team, shoot, bat or deflect the puck from his own half of the ice beyond the goal line of the opposing team, play shall be stopped.

For the purpose of this rule, the point of last contact with the puck by the team in possession shall be used to determine whether icing has occurred or not. As such, the team in possession must “gain the line” in order for the icing to be nullified. “Gaining the line” shall mean that the puck (not the player’s skate) must make contact with the center red line in order to nullify a potential icing.

For the purpose of interpretation of the rule, “icing the puck” is completed the instant the puck is touched first by a defending player (other than the goalkeeper) after it has crossed the goal line and if in the action of so touching the puck, it is knocked or deflected into the net, it is no goal.

Any contact between opposing players while pursuing the puck on an icing must be for the sole purpose of playing the puck and not for eliminating the opponent from playing the puck. Unnecessary or dangerous contact could result in penalties being assessed to the offending player.

The puck striking or deflecting off an official does not automatically nullify a potential icing.

Yeah, that clears everything up! Are you just as confused as before you started reading? Of course you are, I would be too.

Now, let’s look at what about.com has to say:

Definition: Shooting the puck to the end of the ice from behind the center ice red line.

If the puck crosses the opposing goal line untouched, and is then retrieved by an opposing player, icing is called.

Considered a delaying tactic, it results in a stoppage in play and a faceoff in the offending team's defensive zone.

If, in the opinion of the linesman, any player of the opposing team is able to play the puck before it passes his goal line, but does not do so, the linesman can "wave off" icing, allowing play to continue.

The purpose of the rule is to encourage continuous action. Referees and Linesmen interpret and apply the rule to produce that result.

Well, that’s a little better, but let’s go "blonde":

When it comes to understanding icing, imagine this scenario: Caps and Pens are playing hot and heavy in front of the Pens’ net. The Penguins can’t get the puck away from the Caps and are getting frustrated. Finally one Penguin gets a hold of the puck and sends it flying down the ice away from his own goal because they just can’t finesse it away any other way. Now, everybody takes off down the ice towards the Caps net while the puck skids past the red center line, the next blue line, all the way down past the red goal line across the end of the rink and nobody has caught up with it yet. Now, if a Pens player reaches the puck first, the play continues. If a Caps player reaches it first, it’s an icing call against the Pens. The puck is returned for a face off back down at the other end of the rink, kinda back where they started.

A couple things to remember here:

If your team is tired and frustrated, icing the puck will not give you a chance to make a shift change, that’s a no-no per the NHL rules. Too bad, what a waste.

Secondly, if the Pens were playing shorthanded at the time, that desperate measure of whacking the puck down the rink is not icing. Well, they were already being penalized, right?

Finally, a ref can wave off the icing call if they feel the Caps players could have gotten the puck and simply opted not to do so. Total judgement call by the refs.

So, in brief, if your guy whacks the puck down the ice because his defense just can’t seem to get the job done, you better hope someone from your team gets down the ice and gets that sucker before the other team does. Otherwise, you’re screwed…Any questions?

Hockey in BlondeSpeak – Terminology

Maybe there are some terms you hear commentators use and don’t quite know what they mean. Almost everyone who follows the game can figure out some of them; such as a "biscuit in the basket" is the term used for a goal, or possibly the "sin bin", which is another term for the penalty box. But if you are remotely new to ice hockey there might be a few that have you tilting your head like a puppy dog and a proverbial question mark in your mind. Here are a few. If I didn’t cover one you’ve always wondered about, feel free to comment and I’ll do my best to “BlondeSpeak” it for you.

Blade. No, they don’t mean the skate blade, it’s the flat section of a hockey stick that contacts the puck.

The Blocker. Nope, it’s not the guy who gets in the way, it’s the glove on the hand that the goalie uses to hold his stick, it has a flat pad on the front to block shots; hence, blocker.

Breakaway. Sorry to say, commentators aren’t talking about a song here, and if you know the song of which I speak, you need a heavy infusion of hard rock, I’m just saying. A breakaway is a scoring opportunity where the skater with the puck is behind the opposing defensemen and faces only the goaltender, he kind of ‘breaks away’ from the pack as it were.

Cherry Picking (or a Cherry Picker). No again, it’s not referring to a delightful summer pastime or a truck for fixing electrical and/or telephone lines. Basically, a cherry picker is a player who just hangs out, often close to the goal, waiting for a pass so he can have a breakaway. I would like to name a few cherry pickers here, but I’ll be nice.

Cross-checking. Technically, cross-checking is hitting an opponent with the stick while it is held in both hands and no part of the stick is touching the ice. Think of it as a swing and a hit (if you’ll permit me to slide a baseball term in here) by one player on another.

Dangler. Ah, I know what you all want this to mean. Clean up those filthy minds, people! A Dangler is a player who has exceptionally good stick handling skills and can easily fool opposing players.

Deke. Simply put, it’s faking out an opponent, to get around him or score on a goalie. There are shoulder dekes, stick dekes and head dekes.

Dipsy Doodle. A Dipsy Doodle is just a term for a fancy deke. (For Caps fans, you’ll recognize this term, Craig Laughlin loves to use it).

Drop Pass. Nope, not a pick up line in a bar that gets no results. In hockey, it’s a pass where a player simply leaves the puck behind him on the ice for a teammate to pick up. When done correctly, the puck stops moving and the pass's receiver catches up to it.

Icing. Ah, the wonderful icing term. I’m gonna save that one for its own BlondeSpeak post because it’s a little more detailed and tricky to explain. Trust me I tried, it’s gonna take more than a simple sentence or two to explain it.

Laying on the Lumber. Another term where you need to get your minds out of the gutter, people! It’s just another term for slashing.

Off Wing. When you hear a commentator saying a man was playing off wing, it means wing who is on the side opposite than he usually plays, or shoots from the "wrong side" for his position. For example, a left wing stationed on the right wing’s side or a right-handed shooter playing left wing.

The Point. Nope, not where surfers find the best wave or the place go to when you want to make out with your boyfriend. It’s the spot on the rink inside the blue line where the defensemen hang out.

Plus-Minus. Think of it like a grading system for players. Technically, it’s a hockey statistic that can apply to a player (or an offensive or defensive line) indicating whether they were on the ice when the opposing team scored (a minus) or on the ice when their own team scored (a plus). For example; if a goal is scored against your team, the defensemen on your team that were on the ice when it happened get a minus.

Saucer Pass. No, not the kind of saucer under a teacup. If you thought that, you may just be too ladylike for hockey. A saucer pass is just an airborne pass from one player to another.

Slew Foot. This one is a type of nasty act that should result in a penalty. It’s the action of sweeping or kicking out a player's skate or tripping them from behind, causing them to fall backwards. Any player who resorts to this should get a slew foot in the arse.

Soft Hands. Now, you all can guess what I wish this meant, but no, it doesn’t. When a player is described as having soft hands, they are saying he has the skills to keep the puck under control, moving it easily back and forth with his stick in a relaxed way.

Stack the Pads. When the goalie drops down and lays on one side with one leg on top of the other, in essence creating a wall to block the puck from going into the net, it’s called stacking the pads.

Now, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this is not intended to be technical explanations of hockey terms. I’m not an expert. Watch a hockey game and when you hear those terms listed above thrown out there, you’ll have just enough knowledge to understand what is going on so you can sit back and enjoy one of the greatest sports there is…Any questions?

Hockey in BlondeSpeak - The Trapezoid Rule

In the course of your hockey reading, you may have heard discussions about revoking the trapezoid rule. Didn’t happen as of today, but maybe you aren’t clear on the rule to begin with. The rule was instituted as part of the post-lockout 2005 rule reformation package, and it was designed to stimulate more opportunities by the offense. It was nicknamed the “Marty Brodeur Rule” because he can play a puck so well; even outside the crease, it was felt it gave him and other goalies like him, an unfair advantage. To be honest, Brodeur wasn’t always a goalie; he started playing hockey as a forward, so having this “exceptional” skill is no surprise.

Many people who have watched hockey for more than 5 years pretty much hate this rule. Most newer fans don’t know what it was like to see goalies in action prior to the rule change and just accept it as a rule of the game. The rule is not imposed by the IIHF and there was no such restriction during the Olympics. If you can remember back to February, you saw hockey games without the trapezoid. (Personally, it’s something I would prefer to forget, but not because of the no trapezoid rule.)

Anyway, let me break the trapezoid rule down into BlondeSpeak for you:

What the NHL rule book says:

1.8 Goalkeeper’s Restricted Area - A restricted trapezoid-shaped area behind the goal will be laid out as follows: Five feet (5') outside of each goal crease (six feet (6') from each goal post), a two-inch (2") red line shall be painted extending from the goal line to a point on the end of the rink ten feet (10') from the goal crease (eleven feet (11') from the goal post) and continuing vertically up the kick plate (see diagram on the page iv preceding the table of contents). (Paint code PMS 186).

How it was interpreted by a sports writer:

''A goaltender may not play the puck outside a designated area behind the net. This area is defined by lines that begin on the goal line, six feet from each goal post, and extend diagonally to points 28 feet apart at the end boards. Should a goalie play the puck outside this area behind the goal line, a minor penalty for delay of game will be imposed. The determining factor will be the position of the puck.''

The New York Times/ Jason Diamos/ September 16, 2005

BlondeSpeak:

Goalies are not allowed to color outside the lines!

No, seriously, all this rule does is create two patches of ice, in the corners, where the goaltender can't play the puck. But even seasoned goaltenders rarely ever played the puck there anyway, it's way out of position and out of many younger goalies comfort zones.

In my opinion, if a goalie is skilled enough to be able to play the puck far from the net but still get back into the crease to make the all important saves, I say let him do it. It adds real excitement to the game and additional thrills to goalie fans like me.

(Editors note: Once again, I would like to point out that I am not an expert, I did not see the replay. The purpose of this post is to simplify hockey stuff for those with who want a simple explanation but don't want to look stupid by asking. If you already know the ins and outs of the trapezoid rule, and it insults your intelligence, my most humble apologies, you must obviously not be blonde.) 

Hockey in BlondeSpeak - Penalty Shots

(Semi-serious hockey post… yeah, right! Before I begin, anyone with any hockey knowledge who reads this and would like to point out any errors, please bash away, comments always welcome! But, I do not profess to be an expert, so please don’t expect 100% accuracy.)

I have questions, I want answers. What, exactly, constitutes when a penalty shot is called?

Let’s break this down, the blonde way. (Don’t get insulted, all you blondes. I am one of you).

So, the whistle blows and the zebra crosses his fists above his head. The crowd moans and the opposing team gets a penalty shot. Why, you ask?

 
 
 
 


Here is what the NHL says:

Rule 25 - Penalty Shot

25.1 Penalty Shot – A penalty shot is designed to restore a scoring opportunity which was lost as a result of a foul being committed by the offending team, based on the parameters set out in these rules.

And, 25.8 Infractions – Refer to the Reference Tables – Table 13 – Summary of Penalty Shots for a list of the infractions that shall result in a penalty shot being awarded (see specific rule numbers for complete descriptions).

There are four (4) specific conditions that must be met in order for the Referee to award a penalty shot for a player being fouled from behind. They are:

(i) The infraction must have taken place in the neutral zone or attacking zone, (i.e. over the puck carrier’s own blue line);

(ii) The infraction must have been committed from behind;

(iii) The player in possession and control (or, in the judgment of the Referee, clearly would have obtained possession and control of the puck) must have been denied a reasonable chance to score (the fact that he got a shot off does not automatically eliminate this play from the penalty shot consideration criteria. If the foul was from behind and he was denied a “more” reasonable scoring opportunity due to the foul, then the penalty shot should be awarded);

(iv) The player in possession and control (or, in the judgment of the Referee, clearly would have obtained possession and control of the puck) must have had no opposing player between himself and the goalkeeper.

Here is what Wikipedia says:

A penalty shot is awarded to a player who is deemed to have lost a clear scoring chance on a breakaway by way of a penalty infraction by an opposing player. A breakaway, in this case, means that there are no other players between the would-be shooter and the goaltender of the defending team. Generally, the penalty shot is awarded in lieu of what would normally be a minor penalty, so the fouled team will not get both a penalty shot and a power play from a single infraction.

According to NHL rules, various infractions during a breakaway that can lead to a penalty shot being awarded include: a goaltender deliberately dislodging a goal-post (delay of game), a defending player using a stick or any other part of his body to interfere with the attacking player, a goaltender or other player throwing his stick to distract or hinder the attacking player, or any other foul committed against the attacking player from behind. In addition to this, a penalty shot is awarded to the opposing team if a non-goalie player intentionally covers the puck in his own team's goal crease.

Here is what the Blonde Girl says:

BlondeSpeak: If an opponent, with no other player between him and the goalie, is denied an attempt to shoot and possibly score a goal due to a penalty on him from behind, he can be awarded a penalty shot by the ref.

Forget all the other conditions and requirements. Basically, if you see a player being given a penalty shot, the above in BlondeSpeak is basically how it happened and is probably all you really need to know. Whether we agree with the refs or not, they make the call.

Doesn’t seem fair, does it? I mean, there was no guarantee that the player was actually going to score! But, now he gets a chance to make another attempt, one on one, like a shoot out? Yeah, I don’t like it either. I especially don’t like it when it happens TWICE against our baby Bear goalie.

Penalty shots, like shoot outs, will give you a heart attack. They suck…Any questions?