I can’t tell you how many times I saw what someone was wearing and thought to myself, “Holy crap, you are a hot mess”. Many of my Twitter followers can vouch for my multiple tweets involving offers to take a hockey player shopping to fix their awful look. A recent post on
Russian Machine Never Breaks got me, once again, thinking along those lines in regard to our favorite player, Alex Ovechkin.
For some ungodly reason, Ovi seems very attached to his V-neck Dolce & Gabbana tee shirt. One look and any women in her right mind will run away screaming “NOOOOOOO”! I understand Ovi’s love of anything with the D & G label, but some things should NEVER be bought. A simple Google search reveals how many images I found of Ovi wearing the same shirt, plus a few others that should all be introduced to the nearest rag bag or trash can.
So, I would like to send Alex the following message. Anybody who can help further my cause in this would have the greatest of thanks from Ovi fans throughout the world.
Dear Alex,
You are a rockstar. We love you for it. But we would also love to see you dress just a little better so we can drool even more. I would like to volunteer my services as a personal shopper to you. All the ripped jeans and D & G tee shirts are cool (I guess), but a serious waste of your hard earned cash. They are great for knocking around your crib, but when you step outside the door, every eye is on you. I understand what you are going for, but there are so many better ways to express your style. Here are a couple of recommendations I would have for you.
1. When you do wear dress pants, please do not put so many things in your pockets, including your hands. It makes your pants look like they don’t fit in the crotch, and not in a good way. If in any of these photographs, you do not have things in your pockets, you need a tailor asap.
(Photo by Washington Post via alexovetjkin.blogspot.com)
2. Never ever wear V-neck tee shirts. They are great on women, but they look horrible on men. Almost a Grandpa undershirt kind of look, and I know you can’t be going for that!
(Photos via alexovetjkin.blogspot.com and russianmachineneverbreaks.com )
3. Those ripped faded jeans? Nothing sexy about them. They look like throwbacks from the 90’s. Fine for working around the house or fixing your car, but you don’t do those things, I’m willing to bet.
(Photo via alexovetjkin.blogspot.com)
(vis saskforum.ca)
4. Scruffy can be very sexy, sloppy is not. There is a fine line between the two.
(Photo via terezowens.com)
5. Well tailored suit? Dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up? Very sexy! Try that with a pair of regular or dark denim jeans in addition to dress pants, total hotness! (see you CAN do this!)
(Photo via Men's Journal)
6. There is a right time and a wrong time to wear tee shirts with messages on them. Photo Ops when wearing a tee that says "Sex and Love are the Future" may not be the correct image you want to portray, as shown below:
7. Some outfits should never see the light of day again. If this is still in your closet, please take a match to it:
(Photo via nhlsnipers)
8. Dark socks should never be worn with shorts.
(Getty Images)
So, darling Alex; next time you go shopping, please keep those things in mind. And just so you know, I am an old married lady, not a stalker. I just want what is best for you and volunteer my services for the sake of style.
Love,
Caps Girl
Alex, take a tip from Brooks Laich, (as seen at “
Better Living Through Bradley”), there is nothing better than a sharp dressed man. And, yes, I did think I might include Alex Semin in this offer, especially since he thought it was appropriate to wear a tee shirt to a wedding, but one man at a time.
So, I leave you with one question; why pick on Alex? Easy, any man who can look this good deserves a friendly, gentle reminder that he should always look this hot:
(via Men's Journal)
