It’s the off season, how do you plan to spend it? If you’re a hockey fan, you’ll get by, reading trade and re-signing rumors, whining slightly about how there’s nothing to do and anxiously wait for the fall. BUT, if you’re a hockey stalker, you are plotting and planning your schemes to meet players even if they go to Turkey for summer vacation.
Not sure which category you fall into? Take the quiz!
1. You go the Kettler to watch practice because:
a. You enjoy watching what the team is working on to face their next opponent.
b. You might get to meet Brooks Laich.
2. You hang out outside Kettler after practice is over because:
a. You might get an autograph and/or picture of your favorite player.
b. You might get to meet Brooks Laich and maybe even get a chance to slip him your phone number.
3. You leave Kettler and discover you are following the car of one of the players. Do you:
a. Smile and tweet to everyone (from a red light, of course) that you just saw Brooks Laich in his car.
b. Throw on the sunglasses, change lanes, and drop back 3 car lengths to follow Brooks Laich because you might find out where he lives or shops.
4. You frequent restaurants that are known as player hangouts because:
a. It’s a cool sports bar in your neighborhood that just happens to be a player hangout. It’s cool; you go there all the time, in season or off season.
b. Even though you had to drive 45+ minutes to get there, you go as often as possible because you might get to meet Brooks Laich and actually touch him and flirt with him.
5. You happen to know the home address of a hockey player. Do you:
a. Keep it secret, the guys deserve their privacy.
b. Keep it secret, check to see if there are any rentals available nearby, call Mayflower and start planning your move to his building or neighborhood.
6. You follow on Twitter or friend on Facebook people who have some connection to the team because:
a. It’s great to get the inside scoop of what’s going on with the team from insiders.
b. You might find a way to use them to your advantage to meet Brooks Laich.
7. You’ve gotten this far in the quiz and you:
a. Laugh because you recognize it’s a joke.
b. Feel insulted. No way do you do any of those things, you just happen to really, really like Brooks Laich and one day you’ll meet him and talk to him and date him and become his wife and have his children and everyone will be jealous but you’ll be living happily ever after as Mrs. Brooks Laich, so who cares what everyone else thinks, because no way are you a stalker.
So, how did you do? If your answers were mostly ‘a’, you can breathe a sigh of relief, you’re never going to be mistaken as a stalker, you’re a fan. But, if you answered mostly “b”, you are the only honest person to have taken this quiz…Any questions?
(note: I selected Brooks as the focus here because he is such cougar bait, but you can substitute any young Caps bachelor of your liking, whether it's Ovi, Sasha, Nicky, Mike or Varly. But, if by doing this, your answers change from a's to b's, please don't come to me for their addresses, I selected "a" on question #5!)